you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
