Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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