Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
