I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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