You made me cry and you don't even care
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
