Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ttyl tear gas
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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