Don't make out with my wife yet
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
