i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
