i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
