I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
