Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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