also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
