I would go down on you faster than GM stock
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
