Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
