Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
