question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I want a musical about memes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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