you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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