Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
