More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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