I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
