The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
