i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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