so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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