you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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