Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize