my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
high people should be assigned attendants
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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