I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
