Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
