This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
