If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pop tarts are not kleenex
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
