My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
