hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
