He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
