Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
