Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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