hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
