Jerry, you need to find god
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
