Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize