check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
