Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
