Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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