If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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