Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
