i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
