Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
