we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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