OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
