can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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