super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
