idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
