you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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