using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
