Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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