CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
