It's Friday. Sex?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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