Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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