But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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