Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize