we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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